[Excerpt from my book, Flying Free: Life Lessons Learned on the Flying Trapeze.]
“Concentration is the secret of strength.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Tonight’s flying trapeze class is particularly loud. Besides flying trapeze, trampoline, static trapeze and stretching classes are taking place simultaneously in the gym. A professional circus troupe is practicing in the room next to the trapeze rig—each routine accompanied by its own blaring music. A stereo at the foot of the trapeze ladder blasts an endless loop of Gwen Stefani, Fergie and Madonna. Above the din, instructors shout instructions to their students.
Standing on the platform, my classmates chat amiably about work, what they had for dinner or where they’re going for vacation. I chalk my hands, adjust my outfit, smooth my hair and get ready to fly. I block out everything except the trapeze bar and Hans, who is set to catch my trick. Despite the abundance of activity going on around me, the only person who exists for me right now is Hans.
Focusing comes easily in trapeze—the sport has a way of creating radical concentration. I’m standing aloft on a platform, listening to the calls of the trapeze catcher who is hanging upside down from a bar on the other side of the rig. When I’m flying, he and I are all that exist. Most tricks take a mere eighteen seconds; sustaining focus for that length of time is no big feat. The real trick is to focus on the right thing at the right time and to take the experience of focusing well for eighteen seconds and expand it to other areas of life.
Although thoughts can cycle so quickly, it may seem as if they’re generated simultaneously. Psychologists maintain that our minds can hold only one thought at a time; for this reason, multitasking—a temptation that is hard to resist—never works well for me. If I’m doing two things at once, chances are I’m not doing either of them well.
Multitasking—checking emails, Facebooking, cooking—while on the phone is particularly tempting and futile for me. I can’t remember key details of the conversations unless I give the phone calls my full attention. The people to whom I’m speaking deserve my full attention and, though multitasking while talking with them is not meant to be disrespectful, it does diminish our relationship. In one phone conversation during which I multitasked, a friend disclosed that her mom, who had been ill for years, had passed away. Later, I couldn’t remember that detail.
Another negative: when I multitask, I tell my subconscious mind that whatever I’m doing isn’t important enough to focus on.
Much of my lack of focus is habit. Distractions abound in life on the ground; however, the same is true on the trapeze. Static trapeze classes, which are accompanied by music, as well as trampoline classes are held at the same time as flying trapeze classes; kids run around the gym, the cleaning crew vacuums during morning classes, phones ring, dogs bark loudly outside the gym. Despite all these potential distractions, focusing isn’t a problem. Survival instinct seems to aid focus.
I had to work hard to apply the focus that comes easily in trapeze to ordinary life. It requires discipline not to respond to text messages while on a business conference call, to turn off the computer screen while on the phone, to listen to someone else tell the same story for the third time because he or she is too unfocused to remember I’ve already heard the story. Focus and discipline go hand in hand.
Learning to focus also requires discernment. With so many details affecting every facet of life, choosing the right detail to give attention can be challenging. Much of life’s successes are products of choosing details well.
In trapeze, the only details I have to focus on are my execution of the trick and the catcher’s instructions. His instructions are generally simple, often just one word: “Hep.”
Sometimes, though, he’ll give a pep talk before the trick. He’ll run down all the things I need to do to be safe and successful. Here’s where another key to focus comes into play. The subconscious mind, according to sports psychologists, needs to process information affirmatively. In other words, if the catcher tells me, “Don’t rush,” my subconscious mind hears, “Rush!”
A better way to instruct is to say, “Patience. Slow down.”
In life, as in trapeze, we can’t control the way others communicate. We can, however, control what we hear. Each time my catcher says, “Don’t rush,” I counter with my own silent affirmation, “Patience,” or “My timing is perfect.” What I tell myself is always more powerful than anything anyone else tells me.
What we focus on grows. If I focus on the negatives, I will create and perpetuate negative feelings and experiences. If I focus my attention on positives, I create more goodness. I learned to accentuate the positive to overcome, or at least compensate for, the negative.
When my trapeze takeoff was lousy and I kept focusing on how poorly I performed it, I made no improvements. When I started focusing on what I did well or how I could compensate for a poor takeoff, my trapeze experience began improving.
Focus and concentration need to be embraced holistically. Everything starts with a thought. Thoughts produce feelings and feelings drive actions. Therefore, if I have a negative thought—”my takeoff stinks,” for example—I will create anxiety. Anxiety causes me to rush, grab the bar early, fight momentum to get into position, release the bar early and hurl myself into the catcher. That one negative thought just set off an avalanche of negativity. Such is the power of thought.
Trapeze crystallized the power of thoughts for me. Negative thoughts create negative energy, and it’s much more difficult to fly free if my energy is pulling me down.
One sure way to create positive focus and energy is to start and end the day with a gratitude list. Since what we focus on grows, if we’re constantly looking for things to add to the gratitude list, we will find an inexhaustible supply.
Knowing that you get what you focus on is the first step to creating the life you want. Make sure your eyes, ears and mouth focus on the positive.
